Two Books and a Model Walk Into a Meeting

Or Two Books and One Team Model That Changed How I Work 

 

 

As software developers, we spend a lot of time thinking about systems, architecture, and edge cases. And then… we join a meeting. Suddenly, the biggest bug isn’t in the codebase – it’s in communication. 

Two books next to Tuckman’s stages of group development reshaped how I think about teamwork, especially in multicultural environments: 

 

1. Tuckman’s Stages of Group Development 

 

(Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing) 

This model helped me realize that not every team conflict means “this team is broken”. Sometimes it just means: we’re storming. 

  • If things feel awkward – probably Forming 
  • If people argue about “the right way” – welcome to Storming 
  • If trust starts to build – Norming 
  • If things finally flow – Performing (enjoy it while it lasts 😊) 

Knowing where your team is helps set expectations. Conflict isn’t always bad – sometimes it’s just the next stage loading. 

 

 

 

2. The culture Map – Erin Meyer 

 

Working in multicultural teams means that the same behavior can mean very different things. 

  • “Direct feedback” in one culture = honesty 
  • The same feedback in another = personal attack 
  • Silence might mean agreement… or strong disagreement 

This book reminded me that misunderstandings are often about different cultural expectations, not bad intentions. When something feels “off”, it’s worth asking: 

Is this a people problem, or a culture understanding problem? 

 

3. Nonviolent Communication – Marshall Rosenberg 

 

This book is basically a debugger for human conversations. 

Instead of: 

“This code review is bad.” 

Try: 

“When I see missing tests, I feel worried because I value stability. Could we add coverage?” 

It sounds simple, but separating observations, feelings, needs, and requests reduces defensiveness – and surprisingly, speeds things up. 

Less drama. More clarity. Fewer passive-aggressive Slack messages. 

 

The Big Takeaway 

 

Great teams don’t just write good code – they understand each other. 

  • Know where your team is (Tuckman) 
  • Understand how culture shapes expectations (Culture Map) 
  • Communicate without unnecessary damage (Nonviolent Communication) 

Turns out, soft skills aren’t that soft. They’re just another layer of the system – and worth maintaining. 

 

 


 

Author: Ioana Oancea, Senior Developer

Ioana is a Progress Developer with a strong interest in process improvement and team collaboration. She enjoys helping teams work more effectively and build software in a clear, sustainable way.

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